Co-Parenting Complications: April 6–7, 2018
Originally written April 6–7, 2018 | Updated for new blog in 2025
Reflection: Co-parenting is never easy—especially when communication breaks down and the kids get caught in the middle. These are the kinds of days that quietly wear on you, when you’re just trying to help the kids feel safe, seen, and stable while dealing with inconsistent dynamics and decisions you didn’t agree to. Writing this was my way of documenting what the kids were going through and how we tried our best to respond with calm, clarity, and care.
Friday, April 6: Autumn was noticeably frustrated with her younger sister today. Nick had a conversation with her and reminded her that she isn’t responsible for Aurora. He told her she doesn’t need to carry that stress, especially here. He let her know that this is a place where she’s allowed to just be a kid.
Autumn opened up and said she often gets in trouble at her mom’s house for things Aurora does, and that she’s always picking up after her. It broke our hearts to hear that. No child should feel responsible for managing their sibling’s behavior.
We also discovered that Katie had removed the kids’ Facebook Messenger and replaced it with her own account—limiting their ability to talk to Nick during the week. Even while they’re with us, their communication time is restricted. It’s frustrating to watch connection be treated like a privilege instead of a right.
Saturday, April 7: This morning, Autumn asked Katie why she hadn’t come to her dance class. Katie responded that she was “busy” and had messaged Nick but received no reply. That wasn’t true. The only message from Katie was a long reply about the Kids Messenger app. Nick’s response had simply asked her to resend any important info. He didn’t want to escalate things while the girls were with us.
When Nick tried to address it again, Katie denied everything and then blocked him. The pattern of miscommunication continued.
Katie also messaged Autumn directly about a playdate that had supposedly been planned for 12 p.m.—without ever notifying Nick. Since he didn’t know anything about it or who the child was, he told Autumn she couldn’t go. Understandably, she was upset.
Later that night, Autumn was emotional about bedtime. She told me she was sad that Nick didn’t cuddle her while she fell asleep. She shared that at her mom’s house, she either sleeps in her mom’s bed or falls asleep to the TV. We sat down and talked about it, and together we made a deal: she’s growing up, and while things are changing, Nick would lay with her for bedtime—just this once more. It meant something to all of us.
Closing Reflection: These moments—while small on the outside—matter. They shape how safe kids feel, how connected they are, and what kind of support they receive when their world feels divided. We weren’t perfect, but we listened. We adjusted. We kept showing up. And that, I hope, is what sticks with them most of all.
Tags: Co-Parenting, Communication Struggles, Family Dynamics, Divorce Notebook, Bedtime Routines, Emotional Regulation, Sibling Tension, Parenting Journal, Healing After Separation
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