Parenting Through Chaos: A Reflection on Co-Parenting, Patterns, and the Powerlessness of Trying to Do Right
Back in 2019, I started documenting the day-to-day of our co-parenting life. Not out of anger—but out of desperation. We were trying so hard to make things work. To keep some kind of peace. To protect the kids. To show up.
My husband at the time, Nick, was working to heal from years of emotional abuse. He was trying to learn how to be present—not just as a dad, but as a partner. And I believed in him. I saw how deeply he wanted to be better for his kids. But every time we took a step forward, it felt like we were met with resistance, deflection, and sometimes outright hostility.
The timeline we kept—full of awkward phone calls, missed pick-ups, inconsistent plans, and emotional outbursts—paints a clear pattern. A pattern of unpredictability. Of blurred boundaries. Of using the children as leverage in power struggles. Sometimes it was small things—like whether the kids had dinner before a call. Other times, it was much bigger—like Autumn running to the car in tears or being told not to let us take pictures at public events.
What’s hardest to explain is the emotional toll. How you can feel like you’re doing everything right—documenting, staying calm, trying to co-parent respectfully—and still feel utterly helpless. Like the rug might get pulled out at any moment. Like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
There were moments of beauty: sledding trips, dances, movie nights, laughter. But those moments were so often interrupted by phone calls filled with tension, kids confused about who to listen to, or being blocked from simple gestures like a hug or a bedtime call. The emotional whiplash was real—not just for us, but for the children who were trying to make sense of it all.
I didn’t write it all down to dwell on the past. I wrote it down to track a pattern. To validate what we were living through. To remind myself that we weren’t crazy—just caught in a system and a situation that felt impossible to fix.
If you’re co-parenting in chaos, I see you. If you’re loving kids through the confusion, I honor your strength. If you're supporting a partner trying to heal while navigating daily landmines, I know that heartbreak too.
Sometimes the most radical act is to keep showing up with love, even when everything around you feels unstable. And sometimes, the most healing thing is finally realizing—you were never meant to carry it all alone.
Wela'lioq for witnessing this story. May we all find the peace and protection we tried so hard to build for others—and learn to build it for ourselves, too.
2019 -
OK this is a desperate times line I posed trying to get people to see a pattern, becase Katie would make us out to be the problem all the time and it was exhausting :
Wednesday's March 6th- During a casual conversation, Autumn mentioned again she gets Aurora ready for school because Mommy leaves an hour before the bus comes. She says grampy is there. I asked where mommys new work is she said she didn’t know. During phone call I overheard a conversation about what Autumn Packed Aurora and herself for snacks. Aurora also asked to go home again
March 5th Tuesday- autumn called said she already ate. Aurora said they didn't. Neither would say what they were having or had. Phone call was at 730. Said they just left soccer practice. Soccer practice ends at 630.
Friday March 1st Friday- Girls had salad for dinner. Called early because Autumn is going to a sleepover. They were eating. Aurora said she needed a quick call because she is half dressed in the bathroom. Girls said they went sledding with Jordan and Aaron.
Feb 26th Tuesday- Aurora was eating strawberries watching TV.
Saturday Feb 23- the girls had basketball at 9 this morning.. Katie didn't send Autumn shirt with her. She was refusing to bring it to basketball. Tashena found another shirt for her to wear that was a basketball shirt and red. Basketball went well when we got home we started to ask Autumn to get ready for the birthday party. Autumn was back-talking and being extremely rude and refusing to change her shirt that was much too small for her.she talked to her mother her mother said she was going to bring her some of the new clothes that she got her to the party. This had solve the problems we just asked on to apologize for our behavior to everyone. Autumn was rude and back talking refusing to give a sincere apology or listen to what anyone had to say. Tashina was explaining why a sincere apology is important and how you can't just say you're sorry and act angry. Adam kept walking away. I told Adam she's not going to be able to go to the birthday party is she keeps acting like this. she started yelling and acting very angry. At this point I wasn't sure if she even wanted to go to the birthday party. She ran upstairs and talk to her mom and came back downstairs crying and apologizing.I said I'm still not sure if she should go to the birthday party she needs to go upstairs for a few minutes. She said she needed to go outside to cool down. I said that's not a good idea it's really cold outside and the next thing I know Katie pulls up. Adams has yelling and screaming that she wants her mom. she wanted me to just let her go outside. I told her no she need to stay inside. But she kept yelling and screaming tashena said maybe you should just let her go outside and say hi quick. Autumn then ran without further instruction. I followed autumn in Aurora outside. Trying to tell Katie she can't just come here and pick them up. We were supposed to meet at the senior center. I told her she can't take Autumn she can't just take Autumn ever she wants. she kept yelling for Autumn to get in the car. So of course Autumn gets in the car show me after yelling at me that I'm scary and then they drove off. The plan was for them to return at three. After 3 went by I called Katie and she said she was not going to drop the girls off. They were at my mother's house. I asked her when she was going to leave so I can pick the girls up. Katie said she's not going to leave.
Fri Feb 22nd- Autumn woke up extremely irritated again. Didn't want to get dressed or be respectful to other people.
I talked to her upstairs. I asked if something was bothering her because she has had great behavior all week until she came back yesterday.
She explained her mother told her that she doesn't want her around my friends and she shouldn't ever be alone with Tashena.
Thurs Feb 23- Autumn went for a visit with her mom Aurora didn't want to go she wanted to stay with Nana.
Autumn came back late. Katie said they were going to the movies
When Autumn returned she said no they got halfway to Worcester and her mom decided they should not go and should watch it at her family's house because she has a fire stick. They just went to the dollar store. She said she had the best day ever tho.
When starting to ask Autumn to get ready for bed she started getting really irritated. Anything we said or asked like get your pajamas on she would not listen or growl/wine.
Once in bed she started to cry and yell how unfair we we're being.
We'd Feb22- Tashena messaged me Aurora was throwing a fit over everything again. She said she talked to her and Aurora told her she is upset with us because “ my mom says you lie all the time” referring to Tashena and “ my mom said my Dad is always try to fight with her when I was in her tummy”
I asked Aurora if I ever lied to her and she said no. I asked if she thought the things her mom said we're nice. She said no I asked if there was a reason your mom said this things she said no so I then asked if she thinks she should worry about them she said no.
Brought all the kids to Walmart and McDonald's they all had great behavior
Tuesday Feb 21 Aurora has had horrible behavior yesterday and today. I took yesterday and today off.
Monday Feb 20- picked up girls from this mother
Sunday Feb 19th - Katie asked if girls could come over tonight instead of tomorrow morning. I said yes when. No reply for hours until 7pm. Tried calling for bed time call no answer. No answer on Autumn's phone. Katie replied at 830 that I could unblock her phone to call if I wanted to talk to them.
Feb16th- phone call haven't ate dinner no plans for dinner.
Feb15- girls didn't eat dinner Nick picked them up at 545 for 6 pm dance. Girls were upset about taking a group picture. Hungry the whole time.
They called their mom when we got back and said they just had an ok time Autumn said she got poked in the eye so she didn't have fun Aurora said she was hungry and tired and no one but her Dad would dance with her...Katie’s response was “ there are some things dad's aren't very good at and dances are one of them don't worry I will bring you to the next Dance.” The next dance is on my time.
Feb 14- girls had Mac n cheese for dinner
Feb6th- Aurora “I want a cookie” T- “those were from a superbowl party maybe you can have one later” Aurora” I went to a superbowl party” T-”Oh ya where? Did you have fun” “Yes at my friends house” T-”so cool Aurora whats your friends name” “I don't remember he's a grown up” T”oh is it your moms friend? He a friend who is close to your mom or they just regular friends” Aurora “he's my friend, he held my hand and put his arm around me. He likes to give me hugs” T “Oh to your mom? He nice to you to?” Aurora”to me and he colors with me and we both like wrestling he's super nice to me” T-”oh that sound cool where does he live far away or close?” Aurora “kinda far he lives where I went to camp at camp putman”
I asked Autumn who this friend was and he told me his name is Gary and he's been hanging out a lot at the house too.
Autumn also told us her mom got a new job. She was excited to tell us she dressed Aurora really well in layers for the weather. She told us Grampy is home to make sure they get on the bus.
Sunday Feb 3- girls didn't answer Autumn's phone has been inactive for 3 days
2nd - quick call girls were getting ready to watch a movie and just ate
1st- Aurora was in the shower and Autumn was eating dinner during phone call.
Jan 27- Autumn
Jan 26-
Jan 25-
Jan 24-
Jan 23- Aurora said after not being able to contact her mom to say goodnight she missed home because she wanted her stuffed unicorn.
Jan 22- Autumn was crying on the phone because she missed Dad
Jan17
Jan 16-girls eating dinner during phone call time and ready to watch a movie
15-Girls were hungry they hadn't eaten dinner yet during phone call
Jan 12th- after calling her mother Autumn wanted to leave to go see a movie with her mom. I explained to Autumn I didn't think the movie we as a good idea this weekend and she can see it next weekend with her mom. (Autumn never ended up seeing this movie) I believe her mother had no real intention on Bringing her.
Jan 11th- Aurora cried at bed time for her mom because her mom does all the fun stuff on the weekend when they are not there.
Jan 9th-Aurora said she wanted to go home after bedtime phone call because her mom had pie and she wanted some.
Jan 8th-
7th-
Jan 6- In ER all day and night
Jan5-girls were eating dinner at phone call time and ready to watch a movie
Jan4- quick call because Katie gave them a laptop right before phone call and they wanted to check it out before bed time.
Jan3- girls went to school and then home to mom after.
Jan2- Girls wont have backpacks for school
Jan1- Aurora said she missed her mom after a phone call. She said her mom was going to pick her up after dinner. We said this was fine. I messaged Katie to confirm she didn't reply and never showed up.
Dec 31-
Dex30
Dec-29
Dec28-
Dex27-
Dex26-
Dec 25- I picked up the girls early from their moms after a phone call.
Dec 22nd- Girls not at basketball. Tashena Called me and I called them. Aurora stated she doesn't want to play anymore because she dont know how and Autumn thought it was tomorrow.
20dec- quick phone call girls were eating dinner at 7
Dec 16
Dec 15-all four of the older kids played basketball at 9 in the morning. we talked to the director Andy Karen. None of the kids except for my daughter Madison before I actually put on a team yet. But just happen to have teams for them that we're practicing right at that moment.
Katie is not happy that Nick signed Aurora up for basketball. But we were told that Aurora has gained 11 pounds in one week. This is very concerning and nick strongly feel she needs to stay active in any way possible.
Dec14- we brought the kids to the Winter wonderland dance at the school. For we left Kitty hasn't make a picture of Aurora's medicine in a bag on her steps. We figured she didn't need to take it into the morning and would got it after the dance. Katie started sending messages saying that she was supposed to take it after school. when the girls called early to say good night we could hear on the phone telling them that should they can't go to the dance Aurora iis contagious and she is going to get everyone sick.
We were already leaving for the dance and already running late. If I get another hour or so would be fine. And we're confused as to what the actual time was. We ran to get the medicine right after the dance. And she took it right before bed.
that way if it was just a reason for Aurora not to go to the dance she didn't take it too much earlier than she was supposed to.
Dec13- I was brushing Madison's hair when I was done I asked her why she wanted me to do hers really quick. She shook her head and looked scared. So I gave the brush to Nick and he did her hair.
Adam's concert. Katie did not bring Autumn. Her nanna did. So we were able to say hi. I ran over to take a picture of my son Andrew and her. She was refusing to let me take a picture and I thought she was just kidding. After pushing her she said no my mom said I'm not allowed to let anyone take my picture. I said why your dad is also your parents he really would like a picture of you. and she asked if he could take the picture so I ran over and gave him the phone to take a picture. We do not post the pictures because we did not want her to get in trouble.
Dec12- the girls got called off the bus. Arora's medicine was in Autumn's bag. Katie hadn't talked to Nick since the night before because of the concert. He tried to message her about auroras meds then but he was blocked. So autumn called and asked how much she was supposed to take. Katie replied the amount and said she doesn't need to take until the morning.
Dec 11- rise Winter concert. Nick and I went to Aurora's Winter concert with my children because Madison was also in the concert. when we got there we couldn't find the girls for a while. They're supposed to be there at 5:30. Katie finally showed up with them and Aurora set down two minutes before the show started. Nick is trying to say hi to her. My nine-year-old Andrew ran over to get her attention. Katie noticed this and then sat next to Aurora. Aurora tried to give Nick a small wave but looked very nervous. And then once her mother was there she wouldn't even look our direction for the rest of the show. When the show was almost over k left with the girls. Who found Autumn afterwards In the cafeteria who is super nervous and upset about being able to find her mom.nick and I followed her to try to help her. When we finally found Katie she again wouldn't let him say hi. The girls off and made some comment about him holding Austin.
we got home at 7 and he texted her about a phone call and called one minute later and the house phone. Katie refer to Austin s Nick girlfriend's baby saying that he should not be trying to say hi with…. and should have just given Aurora individual attention to say hi. She said he got to see them at the concert and there was no need for a phone call that the line was busy.
Dec10
Dec 9
Dec 4th- Autumn was able to swallow water!
Dec2nd- Girls went home early to Moms, Katie texted Autumn was bleeding a lot, I unblocked and called, Katie asked me to bring Autumn to Hospital, Autumn was super anxious I calmed her down, no bleeding at all after, ER went well said she was fine.
Autumn surgery. Nick and Katie have a bunch of
November 1st- I was brushing Aurora's Hair and she told me “My mom doesn't like when you do my hair” Nick tried asking “why did she say that” “can you tell me more” she wouldn't say anything to him. I asked her “do you like when I do your hair?” Aurora sadi “yes” and I replied “Well then that all that matters to me” and the conversation ended. During the whole conversation Autumn wouldn't stop humming. We have seen her do this quite a few times when Aurora tries to talk to us about anything their mother says.
Aurora had her meeting for her ieP, I,
November 8th -Soccer awards Katie wouldn't Let the girls say hi. Autumn snuck over anyway but didn't say hi to Austin, Aurora wouldn't even wave.
October 31st- We had everyone for trick or treat. My ex meet with us and we walked the common area, got pizza for dinner after and put everyone to bed. Katie texted Nick and said don't worry about a phone call sure they are going to be busy.
October 30th- Nick asked the girls if they needed costumes for tomorrow or if they were all set. They said they were all set.
October 25th - During Madison's Practice I saw Katie with the girls. Auroras team had an extra practice. I was watching both of them and tired to wave to them from the car a few times with no luck. A few minutes later Autumn and Katie walked passed my car again towards the parking lot. Then Mat showed up at 5:26 and texted me he was behind me. I asked if he saw Katie and he said ya driving in the center of town. Aurora was still there so I messaged Nick because this is out of character for her and him. They are usually very protective of the girls. I texted I was going to just stick around until she got back since I was watchung Maddisen still anyway. Then at 5:45 Practice for both teams ended. I said goodbye to my kids as they went with their dad. I texted Nick again, and then asked the coach if Aurora was good and if her mom knew practice was over? They replied yes she told them she was leaving and they were set. I got in my car to drive away and Katie pulled up behind me.
Nick and her argued back and forth over text
October 16- girls overnight talked to their mom for a while on the phone. Aurora was wearing huge pants with holes in them
October 15 -
October 14- Katie in background on phone with the girls again.
October. 13 - Katie told Nick She talked to Autumn and
phone call from girls Autumn apologized for lying about not reading... Saying she really did. Katie was in the background talking the whole time.
October 12th - sent Aurora and Autumn home with kitty bag that had shin guards in it. Aurora was wearing her purple shirt and white bow for her field trip. Autumn wore a white shirt with names on it from her class.
October 11th - Autumn didn't have her reading done for the week and was upset didn't want to bring it to school. Said she was sick one day and only read two pages the next day. Katie Message Nick. Katie insisted that Autumn definitely red. We ask why it wasn't written in. Katie ignore the question and they both started to argue. if I'm really did read it didn't make sense as to why they wouldn't just write it in her reading log for school. Katie insisted that they had a different reading log at home.
October 10th - Nicked missed the girls phone call. When he called back immediately they wouldn't answer and Katie messaged him saying he should have answered and he can’t talk to them.
Oct 5th -Autumn had a brownies trip.
Sept 15th. Nick and I went to watch Aurora in Madison soccer game they were back-to-back from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m Katie kept calling Austin Daddys girlfriends baby. .
SEPT 13th - well sorting through the girls clothes in their room. Adam was talking to me about Austin while holding him. She commented how his lips look like Matt. I asked her what made her think that. I did a little laugh and said he has a giant overbite like your dad and big lips like me. She said just because I saw Matt at the hospital. Autumn did not see Matt at the hospital. I told Nick and he was pretty upset about it.
Sept 12th - Mary/ Katie signed the girls up for Dance, including Autumn who is already scheduled to be doing after school, brownies and soccer. Nick thinks this is to much, and Dance is at the same time as soccer.
September 7th- since Austin was doing so well we decided to come home today. Met with his social worker as normal protocol and she expressed to me someone had made a call to their office with concerns of drug use. Nick immediately asked if the person was Mary byzick neither of us expected a response she did reply that yes it was. She had told Mary by Isaac that she cannot give out information as to whether this individual is here. Mary explain to her that yes they are definitely there. The social worker said she repeated that she is not allowed to give out any confidential information to marry. Nick and I told her that we've had constant problems with her and she has been messaging Nick constantly while we are at the hospital. The social worker expressed to us that they had no concerns whatsoever about us and the safety of and health of the baby. But she did want us to know that this individual did contact them. We said Thank you and did not have to talk to her again. Did try to ask for any paperwork Trail or proof of what was said and she said she can give us that we would just have to write it down and bring it to court.
6th- after lots of debate with Katie. Nick's mom was finally allowed to bring the girls to the hospital for a visit with their new brother. the girls brought a gift and were extremely excited.
September 5th - Autumn called us to check on how her brother was coming along.
September 4th - Katie messages Nick upset we all went out for dinner together as a family. Saying he was supposed to have special alone time with the girls. This was a planned event for a while with everyone because it was my daughter's birthday and I was being induced that night.
Also we dropped off Aurora's backpack that got forgotten on her way to the hospital. When we pulled up there were three guys there with Katie. Rick, Tim and one of their men we did not recognize. Tim came over to the car to grab the backpack from Nick. There was no issues. We did here later on that this night Katie was trying to convince Rick to intimidate Nick. Expressing to her friends that Nick scared her and she was scared of him. All the adults were drinking. Although we did not see the children as far as we know they were there. With no sober adult taking care of them.
…… September - Katie and Nick Argued a while over Activities for the girls.
Katie ended up signing Autumn up for Dance on a day and time that interferes with Soccer practice. Nick originally was going to have her miss dance on his time but after talking to his mom and Autumn decided that it would just hurt Autumn since it's really her mother's fault for giving her the option and putting Autumn in the middle.
September 3rd - Autumn said Jessica is staying with them for a visit.
August 23- nick talked to the girls on the phone for bedtime. Autumn told him Gary is taking his cat back in a few days. Gary and Katie Got into and argument and they were yelling and he had to get his stuff and leave.
Friday August 3rd -
Autumn woke up in a much better mood today.
Brought autumn Andrew and Madison to Baby appointment. They were all great. Got pizza after and went to my grandparents like to swim. Dropped Adam off at her Nana's where Aurora was. Katie pick them up at 3 and texted Nick complaining about them wearing flip-flops and being inside. Also complaining about the the phones that they were using.
Thursday August 2nd-
gave all the kids their phones back they haven't had them in a while. Switched autumn phone that has service with Madison's phone that doesn't. Installed Pandora ChoreMonster Facebook Messenger and Google Calendar.
kids were all excited and tired of doing chores right away. With the exception of autumn who was not focused at all. We asked her to change her attitude a few times to be helpful. She didn't seem interested in wanting to be helpful at all. But she was also upset she wasn't earning points. She end up throwing a huge fit. She finally calm down but then when she talked to her mom she got upset again and wanted to go home. Nick and I talked and he decided not to let her go because he felt like she only wanted to go because she had been upset about not being helpful.
Wednesday - Autumn's birthday. She went with her mother for breakfast in the morning her mother was 10-15 minutes late. But breakfast seemed to go well. Autumn was excited to tell us about the gifts her mother gave her.
Wednesday August 1st - Autumn's birthday.
Katie texted Nick about Autumn's birthday breakfast. She asked if Nick was dropping them off at 8 a. M. This was the first time we heard of having to provide transportation 4 the visit and Aurora also being involved. Katie was upset when Nick denied both request and wanted to stick with the original plan that Autumn would just go with her. Aurora wasn't too upset about not going. Because she knew that she would get her own special time for her birthday in about a month. Autumn was very happy to go by herself. We did give her the option if she really wanted to include her sister. Katie said that she would pick Autumn up as long as I did not go outside. I never go outside or try to engage in pick-up drop-off or anything of that matter. She continue to argue about the situation and stated she invited her family 2 autumns birthday party.
Nick gave Katie extra invitations when she picked up Autumn. We had sent some previously but Autumn had requested more copies recently.
Nick ask Katie if she has had a girl's up for soccer. He was concerned not specifically about out of doing soccer but all the activities that she would be doing along with soccer.
Kitty try to argue that Andrew didn't do his homework and got to participate in activities. This is the exact opposite of true. Andrew has never missed any homework all year long.
Katie stated that homework is not a priority in our house and that is why Autumn is falling behind. Again this is the opposite of true homework is always been the number one priority in our house. Autumn often has come back with no agenda book or no homework as previously written about. Also Nick only gets her one day a school week.
Monday July 9th- phone call with Aurora after requesting one.
Also Katie has not rescheduled Aurora's ENT appointment. And we have not heard of one for Autumn. Autumn also has not had her cavity fixed and Aurora has not even seen a dentist in over a year.
Sunday July 8th - went to Autumns Basketball game. She is leaving for camp today at 130. Katie got the time wrong but Nick has noticed before it was to late and told her. After the game Katie brought over Autumn and Aurora to say hi/bye. She kept trying to talk to us about the girls bday party. Stating people have been asking her about it. And that she already had plans for a party but were now cancelling them. Because Nick was having one for her. Autumn has a phone conversation we listened in on over a month ago to make sure these plans were ok. Original we we're going to have just a party for Andrew but Autumn said and her mom confirmed that she was not having a friend party with her just a family party at her house.
Friday 6th - some issues with when to drop off the girls.
Wednesday July 4t - Autumn threw a fit about going in Mika's van to a 4th of July party. She also told us she can't tell us stuff because then we will get her mom in trouble.
Katie texted Nick and had Aurora call him. Calls from her didn't go through because he has Katie blocked VIA text and I apparently also means calls. He called right back as soon as Katie told him it wasn't going through.
Monday July 2nd - yesterday was a good day with the girls. We did have some issues with emails going back and forth. Kitty claims that she told Nick Aurora was done with daycare for the summer. Nick look through his emails and did not find anything that said that. Nick requested Katie use the parenting app for any further communication. This way we can easily keep track of when she tells us about vents so there's no confusion or misunderstanding.
today when I went to drop the girls off for ETEAM Not only was I told that I was not on the list ro pick them up but I'm not allowed to be added on the list Katie specifically said I am not to pick up the girls. So she is going to pick them up from eteam today and Nick will have to pick them up from her house. I asked if he wanted me to still drop them off and he said yes he will figure it out later he would hate for them to miss it. Autumn was upset about having to go to her mother's house. But Marty and I both reassured her that she will be back to her dad's as soon as possible. This is frustrating as Nick is only running about 30 minutes late. So it would make way more sense for me to pick them up and bring them home. As they will only be without him for another 15 minutes or so.
June 30th Saturday- Nick and I went to sign the girls up for swimming lessons along with my kids. I was concerned that Katie was going to sign them up and ask that Nick ask her. Autumn said that she would text her. Katie said that she was already going to swimming lessons and her dad need to call her. Nick ended up calling her and she did not like the idea that I'm going to swim lessons at all. She said that they were signed up for VBS at that time. Nick and Katie already discussed that he does not agree with ABS on his time. he sent her an email asking for communication to go through the parenting app so that there's no more confusion about when events were shared and when they are happening.
June 29th Friday - Nick pick up the girls without issue today. Aurora ask to call her mother. Autumn said well I saw her today so I don't think I'm supposed to call her. Make and I reminded the girls that they're allowed to call their mother anytime they want. So they chatted with her right before bed.
Wednesday June 27th - Nick pick both girls up from ETEAM yesterday at 510. He then picked me up from work with them at 7pm. Gave them showers we clean their room together and put them to bed. This morning Aurora's throwing a fit about leaving. And pretty much everything else. Autumn was very concerned about Gathering hair accessories that she had brought over. I helped her gather them and put them in a baggie. Katie emailed Nick about him returning the girl's stuff so she can give him some more clothes. We already have summer clothes all set for them. she claims we lost to lunch boxes which would most certainly didn't. We did have one lunch box missing for about a week so she used my daughter's lunch box. We send the lost lunchbox to school with her last time. From now on if there's transition Nick and I have decided to send her with a brown bag to avoid issues. Autumn also mentioned in the morning that last time she was late and her mom didn't get to bring her to the beach. She said that she was dropped off 45 minutes late and in this 45 minutes she was going to go to the town Beach with her mom. This reminded me to send Autumns Divorce Bill of Rights home with her. She has been hesitant and scared to take it home but I found it very important.
Sunday June 24th - Dance recital. We got to Eagle Hill early and found our seats. Katie and Autumn showed up a few dances in with no signs or Aurora. After a few more dances we decided to go to the dressing room to ask if Aurora wanted to sit with us and watch for a bit she was not on stage for another hour. She did but only for a little bit she was anxious to get back to her friends we gave her, her flowers in case we we were not allowed to see her after. I walked her back and took a picture of her with both bouquets of flowers Nick And I’s and her Nana Gail's. During intermission Autumn walked by and seemed nervous about hanging out with us for to long but she did say hi and gave her dad and nanna hugs. The show started and Aurora's dance was beautiful after we went back to see if we could catch her and somehow Katie got in a back door and ran into the dressing room first. Gail was trying to talk to Aurora but Katie kept talking to her about the flowers. Katie said Aurora got flowers but was told not to tell her from who. Gail said yes I gave her flowers. Not sure what else was said I kept my distance. And we left to avoid anymore conflict.
Saturday June 23rd. - Katie emailed Nick's asking to call about a time sensitive issue. He replied with why can't you email. Katie replied Autumn started her period and thought a phone call would be more appropriate. Nick replied have her call me.
Autumn did call and Nick said the phone conversation went well. Autumn felt weird. She seemed in good spirits. Katie emailed again after continuing to talk about Autumn's menses.
Friday June 22nd -Nick dropped Autumn off at home and Aurora off at preschool to leave for work at 9am.
Katie said Autumn and her had appointments but did not specify.
Katie came to the house to pick up Aurora's Dance bag and Autumn's brownies stuff. She ran to the stairs grabbed the stuff and then sat in her car for a few minutes before she pulled forward and then went into the yard to grab 2 of the girls bikes.
Katie later texted Nick complaining about the Dance shoes and tights sent for Aurora. I took out her old tights and shoes that didn't fit and we're the wrong color and only left the new ones I picked up for her. The tights we're a size 8 to 12 that I had purchased. Her old ones were 4to8. Her old dance shoes were a size 9.5 and 10 the new ones I bought we're an 11.5. the last time I put them on I had to tighten them a lot because they were big. I had returned one pair before that was too small and decided to get a half a size bigger and wide.
On my way to the rehearsal I noticed I was following Katie. I slowed down and kept my distance. She pulled in to the parking lot and I lost her and parked between 2 cars to avoid having her park next to me.
She pulled up a few minutes later as I'm getting out 2 parking spaces down. Maddy and I walk to the building and Katie keeps yelling my name. I feel obligated to answer with 2 children watching. Katie “do you know where Aurora's Dance tights and shoes are” me “I sent them in the bag” “ they are not the right ones the tights are to small and she needs her right shoes” “idk what to tell you I packed everything She needed in the bag” and started to walk away “nice your daughter is all prepared and you leave Aurora with ….” I was walking away and didn't hear her full sentence.
I get Maddy dresses in the dressing room and go into the auditorium to sit after directing Maddy to her class. Katie comes over to me with Aurora dressed. “Go say hi to Tashena Aurora" “hey Aurora you look…” “you see the stains and these are not the white shoes she needs.” The dragging Aurora away. “She is actually wearing everything she needs and there's no stains just a pen drawing on her leg.” Ya well I didn't have time to give her a shower she should have taken one last night”
Katie was home all day with Autumn. We only had Aurora from 3pm to 8am and had a small party for Nick's birthday and the last day of school.
Katie's family member Stephanie was around and started to try and talk to Katie telling her Aurora looked fine. Katie stood in front of me the whole time doing Aurora's hair. She started talking to a friend a few rows up asking about brownies and claimed “I asked her father but god forbid he help out” I was irritated at this point and replied “he is at work” “ya well his works for his mom's boyfriend so you think he could be flexible and take the time” “well he originally took the time off to bring Aurora here but was told …” “you need to stop talking” “you're standing in front of me and obviously just trying to cause problems there are dressing rooms down the hall” she finish Aurora's hair and to no one said “ well I guess I'm just not allowed to stand here”
After Katie left my dance mom friend Melissa came and sat with me.
Auroras song was one of the first.
I got my phone out to take a few pictures. And say something to the dance teacher. After snapping a few Katie came back over and stood right in front of me. I ignored her and put my phone down. Eventually she walked away and went closer to the stage to take more pictures. And she was talking to her friend Erin. When the song Started I was going to take more pictures but Katie had positioned herself directly in front of me. I started recording and ask my friend to hold my phone. Katie notice my friend had the phone and she positioned herself directly in front of my friend. My friend commented it seemed like she was doing this on purpose. I said yes she most certainly is this is very typical of her. And this is pretty minor to some of the other incidents we've had. So my friend gave me the phone back. I was able to take the rest of the pictures and record the video without getting Katie in it. It seems like she either didn't notice or decided not to try to move again.
After Auroras Dance was over Katie left and the rest of the night was calm.
Thursday June 21st - Nick's Birthday. Ran into Katie again at Hannafords. Saw her leaving as I was pulling in. She laughed and I just ignored her an parked. Took a few extra minutes to go in to avoid her.
Nick picked up the girls from Erin's Katie and Rick were there too. Our friend Milca lives next door and informed us Katie went and got Nick as soon as she saw Nick borrow Mica's van. This is an ongoing issue with borrowing our friends van. Rick Milca's EX was trying to talk to Milca and they went back and forth for a minute.
Nick had dropped the van off at 355 and drove up the street to Erin's where all 3 adults but no kids were in sight. Milca was standing in her yard 10 feet away.
Nick got out out of the car Katie was standing in the doorway and claimed it wasn't safe. She went to her can and turned the dash cam on. And stood back in the doorway. Nick kept repeating he just wants to get the kids and go. After a few minutes she said it was safe even tho nothing changed. Katie then after a few minutes went in and came back out said they need to clean up and stood in the doorway again. After a few minutes the girls finally starting putting their shoes on. She took her time saying good by and followed the kids to the car asking Nick about returning items. Nick kept saying he will talk to her about it later. Katie said “don't be rude in front of the kids” Nick replied I said I'll talk to you about it later.
Katie emailed about a phone call but by the time the kids were settled from the party it was late and they had just seen her and would see her early the next day.
Wednesday June 20th - ran into Katie at Sally's with Mary and Milca. She was just leaving as we got there so no issues.
Monday June 18th - at Aurora's Preschool Graduation tonight Katie was all over the girls would not let Autumn sit with us for the performance and anytime the kids came over to say hi she followed them. Would not let Nick see or talk to them alone. When saying goodbye after Nick and his mom gave her a hug I said to Aurora great job can I have a hug. Katie picked up Aurora and moved her and put herself between us and said something about it being inappropriate due to the circumstances. Nick his mom and I walked out and she then followed us out.
Thursday June 14th - Katie out of nowhere message is Nick complaining about Petty things. She claimed Aurora had a horrible day at preschool and it was his fault for her not sleeping enough. And Autumn had a stomach ache during school because of what she ate for breakfast. Nick talked to the girls to say good night and Autumn told him she had the stomach ache after eating McDonalds. I did say she had a bad day at school. We know that Katie gives the girls melatonin gummies at their house.
Thursday June 6th - Katie changed Autumns Counseling last minute to tomorrow. I feel like I retaliation to my Facebook post?
Autumn and Aurora went home tonight. They were all of a sudden upset when it came time to call their mom. And when they called her and said they missed her she immediately told them to just tell Dad they wanted to come home. I asked Autumn what was going on they never want to go home. Autumn just repeated she missed her. And she missed her dad the day before. I asked how come she didn’t call and tell her dad. She is welcome here anytime as well. She said something regarding the new parenting schedule. I offered to show her it, she really liked that idea. She read the whole thing and commented on her mom told her her dad was trying to take all their stuff the mattress car and tv. I explained how things get split in the divorce and you have to share stuff. But he hasn't even asked your mom for it back because he was worried about it affecting you. I explained how its ok to miss her mom and want to go home tonight, and just to know that she is welcome to come over here anytime, if her moms says it's ok. “When it's your mom's time with you it's up to you where you are and when it's your dad's time its up to him” “and your dad loves you but is not going to keep you here if you don't want to be here”.
Tuesday June 5th - my court date for divorce uneventful. Nick filed for custody. Katie has messaged him about Autumn getting off the bus at our house and asking if he was going to be there. He didn't really reply. Later he realized what she had done and asked if it was Tuesday and Thursday? Because we had just changed all our plans to work with that after she had a fit. Katie of course flipped out again. Name calling and threatening to not let Nick see the girls at all.
Wednesday May 29th - brought the kids to a baseball game with the school. Katie flipped texting Nick about us borrowing Mika's van. Saying it was unsafe and she now wants to go with the court order and not keep Wednesdays.
Thursday May 31st - Katie has been awful with insults in her messages. The most concerning was comments about seeing me in short shorts. And saying love you too Nick.
She also asked for Aurora's lunch box which was misplaced here so she was going to drive by quickly and grab it. She made rude comments before she stopped by so Nick said never mind don't stop at the house. She did anyway and made
Saturday May 25th - brought Maddy to Dance. Katie blocked my way into the Dance studio as I was going in. She was stand chatting with a friend and ran in front of me to block the door and call for Autumn until Autumn came out. Then after getting my daughter settled into her dance class she continued to stay at the studio by her car occasionally staring at me for almost half the class.
Wednesday May 23rd - Dance picture day.
Friday May 18th - Nick received his court order in the mail around noon. In it, it stated for Katie to give back his Sword collection. Autumn's Brownies we're running 15 minutes late. Katie made a scene at brownies when exchanging care if the children by bringing his sword collection and then insisting on taking a picture of him in the car “with the swords” while he was trying to drive away. There were other people around.
