Trying to Co-Parent When the System Won’t Listen

Date: March 30, 2025

I’ve bent over backward trying to co-parent peacefully.

I’ve taken the high road more times than I can count. I’ve tried silence. I’ve tried kindness. I’ve tried compromise. I’ve tried documentation. I’ve tried DCF. And still… nothing changes.

For years, I’ve watched Katie manipulate situations, twist narratives, and use the kids—especially Aurora—as pawns. I’ve begged DCF to see the pattern, to connect the dots. But somehow, I’m the one who gets dismissed as “emotional” or “difficult.” I have poor boundaries becase when I don't get answered or rules aren't follwed I call the Ombusments office. 

Meanwhile, I have an inbox full of examples like this:

    "Austins not her brother" 

    "I am changing visitation days becase I don't want Aurora seeing Autumn"

    "I don't know why Aurora's phone isn't working and I won't fix it"

    "You don't care about Aurora becase you pay more child support to Tashena"

It’s all about control. It’s never about the kids’ well-being.

In our latest attempt to find peace, I initiated another try at group messaging. I offered to clarify the summer camp schedule so the kids wouldn’t be caught in the middle again. Nick backed me up. And what did we get?

Dismissiveness. Hostility. Gaslighting.

I’m exhausted. And I’m heartbroken. Because I’m not fighting for myself—I’m fighting for them. For kids who deserve better than this constant instability. For Aurora, who is so emotionally whiplashed she doesn’t know what’s safe anymore. For Autumn, who has already paid too high a price.

I keep trying. I keep showing up. But I’m screaming into a void while the people in power—those who could step in—stay silent.

To DCF: when will you listen? When will the pattern finally be enough?

Because this isn’t about who’s right. It’s about what’s right for the children. And I refuse to stop speaking that truth.